Mom's New Identity
A podcast for women and mothers who want to re-define and re-discover their identities on THEIR terms. We discuss topics relative to motherhood & parenting, mental health & healing trauma, and hint of entrepreneurship. My mission is to empower you to begin your own healing journey, and learn to let go of the harmful expectations society has placed on mothers so you can begin to start thriving instead of just surviving.
Mom's New Identity
16. Starting A Meditation Practice: 5 Tips for Getting Started & Staying Consistent
In this episode, Amber shares 5 practical tips to help you start a meditation practice and stay consistent with that practice. Lastly, she shares some of the benefits she has experienced from meditation when paired with other regular mental health related practices such as therapy and journaling.
DISCLAIMER: This episode is produced and edited by the host Amber Ivana. It is strictly for entertainment and educational purposes and is not a replacement for professional advice or therapy.
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I think what meditation allowed me to do is be able to notice when my mind is going into a certain place, because when you're meditating, you have to notice when your brain is starting to go in different directions. So being able to notice your thoughts and notice the things that you're telling yourself. I'm your host, amber Ivana, and this is Mom's New Identity Podcast. First, let me say I'm glad you're here On this podcast. My goal is to help fellow mothers redefine motherhood on their terms. How would I do that, you ask Great question. By having honest, vulnerable and sometimes even uncomfortable conversations about parenting, motherhood, childhood trauma and mental health. We do this so we can challenge the ideas of what society tells us we're supposed to be and do as mothers and as women. My hope is that when we, as mothers, begin to heal and be true to ourselves, we can begin thriving instead of just surviving. Hi, friends, if you listened to my previous episode posted two weeks ago, you will know that this episode is actually going to be a repost of an earlier YouTube video that I did before starting this podcast. This, again, will be my final episode for the year, unless I decide to do a bonus episode, but I will be back, starting January 24, with some new episodes and guest interviews for you all. I hope that you take this upcoming holiday season to just enjoy your time with your loved ones, but also remember to give yourself some much needed rest and self-care, even if you have a million things on your plate this holiday season. That being said, this episode I felt the timing of it really would be ideal, given the amount of stress and pressure that can often come with this time of year. So I hope it encourages you to take advantage of all the benefits meditation has to offer. All right, let's go ahead and get into this episode. I did mention at the end of that video that this week I would be talking about my meditation journey and how I got started. I actually want to give you five tips for getting started things that I did that helped me start to get started meditating and also just continue to maintain that practice of meditation, and at the end I'll just kind of share my thoughts and the things that I've seen as far as how it's benefited me. So let's get into it. Five things that I started doing that you can do today to start meditating.
Amber:Thing number one look at how you spend your time. I'm talking about getting like writing down either in your notes, on your phone, on your calendar, on a piece of paper, for good and sakes, whatever is going to work for you to keep track of how you spend your day, ideally hour to hour. Okay, I'm talking about from the time you get up and put your feet on the ground to start the day to the time that you lay your head on the pillow. Keep track of that and find out where and how you spend that time. Okay, once you have figured out where you're spending I guess, essentially down time, figure out 15 minutes or less, at least 15 minutes of your day that you can take that time to start your meditation. Okay, find those 15 minutes, those windows of time when you have spent time doing something to distract yourself, such as watching TV or movies or scrolling on social media, because, believe it or not, a lot of us are not always aware of how much time we spend scrolling through social media. If you really want to look, go look at your phone, go look at your screen time or, better yet, your battery time, and see what apps are draining your battery the most. That will tell you oh, this is how much time you actually spend scrolling on social media. Tip number three is find a time when it will be the easiest for you to do this. Okay, and here's what I mean by that.
Amber:A lot of us hear about meditation and we hear about people meditating first thing in the morning when they wake up. But if first thing in the morning when you wake up, one you're not a morning person and so you're already like, as soon as your feet hit the ground, you're in a chaos trying to get the kids ready, trying to get ready for work, trying to do a million different things, make food, whatever Unless you can be the type of person that commits to waking up a little bit earlier to do that, bravo, do it, try it. But if you're not already used to waking up early and like meditating, or even doing anything for that matter, that's not going to be an effective method, okay. Same thing goes for nighttime. Okay, meditating at the end of the day. If, at the end of the day, you find that you're just exhausted and you don't have the mental capacity or energy to do anything, again, probably not the best time, okay. So I think if you work a regular nine to five, the evenings are probably going to be the best time to do that.
Amber:In my opinion, you want to find the path of least resistance when it comes to this. In my case, I found that where I had like the most kind of like energy, I should say, was during my toddler snap. Okay, that's when I decided to start implementing my meditation, and I'll tell you what. That was probably the smartest thing I could have done, and part of me felt like I should be doing this first thing in the morning. You know, start my day fresh. No, no, it's not necessary. Which brings me to my next point, tip number four Go into it with an open mind and release yourself of any expectations of what meditation should look like, and here's what I mean by that.
Amber:I used to believe that, in order for it to be a good meditation, I had to ignore everything around me. I had to do it for like 30 minutes or an hour, but I got like like monks. No, it's not, it's not necessary. It's actually, if it's, you find it extremely hard to sit for I mean as little as five, 10 minutes without feeling like your mind is just thinking about a million things and you're not able to like clear your mind of anything. That's the whole, that's the entire point of meditation. Okay, that's totally normal and that's okay.
Amber:The whole purpose of meditation is to train your mind to stay present in the moment, and our minds are not. We're not conditioned or trained from a young age on how to do this. It's just not a part of our culture. If anything, all of these different social media apps and like streaming services their entire goal is to keep your attention and keep you on their app or platform for as long as possible. Everything around us is constantly fighting for our attention and that is 100% intentional. So if it feels like you can't sit down for five minutes without just like being present, that's okay, that's normal, that's a part of the process, it's part of the journey. So at some point you will notice that you're able to just sit there and be present and not think about anything.
Amber:But it takes time, which brings me to my next tip, number five start small. When I say start small, I mean literally, if you can only manage to do a three minute meditation, maybe five minute meditation, I mean ideally five minutes or more, but if that's all you can manage sometimes or you feel like it's just too much to sit down for more than five minutes and just do nothing. That's fine. But the point is that you do it, and the more you do it, the easier it will get, the more comfortable you will get with just sitting there. And, who knows, you might even get to a point where you reach 10 minutes, then 30 minutes, then even an hour, and that takes time. So don't be hard on yourself if all you can manage is five minutes. The key point is you want to get down to being effective at it. Effectiveness is everything, and if you have more of an effective meditation in five minutes than you would in 10 minutes, then stick to five minutes, but don't make yourself feel bad for not accomplishing more than that.
Amber:Start out with guided meditations free guided meditations. There's a million apps. I personally use Headspace. They have, I think, a 30 day free trial and I can go into this more if you guys would like, but I use Headspace and I absolutely love it and I've continued to use it. Actually, I've never really been interested in trying any other apps because that one has been so effective for me. So I figure it's not broke while I try to fix it, but there are a lot of apps out there and I'm considering doing a video where I kind of go through all these apps and just review them one by one. If that's something that you want to see, let me know in the comments below. Even just here on YouTube find guided meditations, and guided meditations are really like they're a little funny at first, like when you hear the person, and sometimes the way they talk is like uncomfortable or silly and you're not used to it. But if you've ever done yoga, it's kind of like similar to that. It's kind of like it's weird, but then you get used to it. Guided meditations are great because it kind of helps you to keep your mind on track and they kind of remind you to stay present in the moment and it kind of guides you through that. Actually, you can find them on Apple Music if you have that, more than likely Spotify. I'm not on Spotify, but I would imagine that there's probably some on there as well.
Amber:Start with something free. Okay, like don't go and pay for the most premium meditation app because you're like well, this is the only way I'm going to do it. It's like when people go off and like they've never worked out a day in their life yet they go and pay for your membership. Like no, start by walking every day. Like, if you're not used to doing any sort of exercise, start by just moving your body every day. That's a great place to start. I think that's pretty much all I have as far as tips goes for you guys. If you have any other questions about those tips, let me know in the comments below. I'd be happy to elaborate on that if you want to learn more about one of the tips that I shared with you.
Amber:But really in my life, the benefits that I've seen with meditation is that I'm better able to notice when I'm not present with my children, specifically like when they're playing or trying to get my attention and my mind is just going a million different ways, and so I'm better able to notice that and then stop and redirect my attention and focus to my kids and be present with my kids. The thing about meditation is that, because it has to do with training your mind, you're not you're not gonna see tangible results. For example, if you were going to the gym, obviously you're gonna eventually see tangible results because you're gonna see a change in how your body looks, maybe how you feel, different things like that. Okay, maybe your skin clears up because you're changing your diet, who knows? But the thing about it is, it's easy to be like I don't understand how this is benefiting me when you cannot see physical, tangible results. And I promise, I promise that those results, they will come at some point. Basically, what I'm trying to say is don't get discouraged With meditation and feeling like this isn't working because I still like I can't just sit here and like, sit still and not think about anything.
Amber:That's normal, that's a part of the process, that's a part of training your mind, and Every person is different. Some people may catch on to it quicker, some people may not, but the idea is consistency. So that's why all of those tips that I just shared are meant to Help you to be consistent, because when it comes to anything in your life that you want to accomplish, consistency is going to be your best friend. Okay, and however, you can maintain that consistency. I'm actually reading a book on that, atomic habits, which has been really good so far. That's really what it comes down to.
Amber:So, going back to how it's benefited my life, I mean I told you guys, you know with my kids, another way that has benefited. Maybe it's a combination of like Starting to unpack my traumas and my triggers, and journaling and stuff, I'm better able to regulate my emotions and notice when, okay, I'm feeling this way, why, and, and like really unpack that and get to the root of what's causing me to feel angry or impatient or irritable or Sad or depressed or anxious, you know whatever feelings that may arise that have often been labeled as bad emotions. I'm really able to get to the root of what's really going on and I Don't want to say it's just meditation that's allowed me to get to that. It certainly contributed to that. I think what meditation allowed me to do is like be able to notice when my mind is going into a certain place, because when you're meditating, you have to notice when your brain is starting to like Go in different directions. So being able to notice your thoughts and notice the things that you're telling yourself, that is absolutely necessary to changing your mindset to Accomplish whatever it is that you want to accomplish in your life. So that's really how I've seen meditation Benefit me in my life.
Amber:If you're still here, thanks for watching. I hope that these tips were helpful for you, but I normally will go into like what I'm gonna talk about next week, but I'm gonna do something a little different this time. I Want to hear from you guys what do you want to learn more about? Because I do want to share more tips and resources and things that have helped me along the way. I can certainly go into more detail about different books that I've read, share different resources of things that I've learned, but really I want to hear from you guys and what you want to learn more about, or what you want to hear about, because it's important that I'm making videos and content for For you guys, for my subscribers, for Whoever's watching this video, because I'm here to help you.
Amber:I'm here to encourage you, to hopefully inspire and motivate you To become a better version of yourself, too, and to start to heal. If you haven't already, go ahead and click that subscribe button, become a part of this community and I'll see you next week. But in the meantime, let's continue to grow, heal, reprioritize our mental health and rediscover who we are together. Mom's identity podcast is produced and edited by your host, amber Ivana. Intro music mother creator is Written and performed by Heidi Rojas. Of Heidi Rojas music I.
