Mom's New Identity
A podcast for women and mothers who want to re-define and re-discover their identities on THEIR terms. We discuss topics relative to motherhood & parenting, mental health & healing trauma, and hint of entrepreneurship. My mission is to empower you to begin your own healing journey, and learn to let go of the harmful expectations society has placed on mothers so you can begin to start thriving instead of just surviving.
Mom's New Identity
15. We Heal So Humanity Can Heal Too
In light of recent events in the Middle East, Amber takes some time to discuss and share her recent learnings about the decades long Israel-Palestine conflict. She also provides some calls to action to those who feel moved to support the innocent lives impacted by the recent events.
Lastly, she shares how our own individual healing journeys (or lack thereof) can impact our lives and surroundings as a human race.
DISCLAIMER: This episode is produced and edited by the host Amber Ivana. It is strictly for entertainment and educational purposes and is not a replacement for professional advice or therapy.
Videos & Accounts Referenced:
@devotedly.yours: https://www.tiktok.com/@devotedly.yours/video/7291119211504618795?_r=1&_t=8gg08GNEmQY
https://www.tiktok.com/@devotedly.yours/video/7291731023459536171?_r=1&_t=8gg0DLhqZC7
@morgannychole:
https://www.tiktok.com/@morgannychole/video/7289510094721633579?_r=1&_t=8gg0KE6Wkr0
@forblackgirlslikeme
https://www.tiktok.com/@forblackgirlslikeme/video/7290649191066553646?_r=1&_t=8gg0MiOdFF8
@genzforchange
https://www.tiktok.com/@genzforchange/video/7290717609727708459?_r=1&_t=8gg0NlxfFVa
@rathbonemakesmusic
https://www.tiktok.com/@rathbonemakesmusic/video/7290272061589589291?_r=1&_t=8gg0NZfraYQ
@thatpsychnpchick (Video referenced for analogy used in episode)
https://www.tiktok.com/@thatpsychnpchick/video/7290538806808382766?_r=1&_t=8gg0Oux5I9i
@5149jamesli
https://www.tiktok.com/@5149jamesli/video/7290378459891748142?_r=1&_t=8gg0PRllWHu
@hellofellowyouth
https://www.tiktok.com/@hellofellowyouth/video/7290294886983568671?_r=1&_t=8gg0Rw4P4o7
@jamesissmiling
https://www.tiktok.com/@jamesissmiling/video/7290233254949588270?_r=1&_t=8gg0RrQfrzS
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When you go on a healing journey and you start to wake up to the realities of the pain and suffering that you have experienced yourself, that others may be in your life, your close loved ones have experienced, you will eventually start to recognize the collective suffering of the human race. Because so long as we can ignore the suffering and the pain and the oppression of people in this world, the world is never going to change. And yes, it starts with us, it does. But once you have become aware enough of your own pain, your own suffering, the next step, then, is to acknowledge the pain and suffering in the people in the world and not turn a blind eye to it. I'm your host.
Speaker 1:Amber, ivana, and this is Mom's New Identity Podcast. First let me say I'm glad you're here On this podcast. My goal is to help fellow mothers redefine motherhood on their terms. How would I do that, you ask Great question? By having honest, vulnerable and sometimes even uncomfortable conversations about parenting, motherhood, childhood trauma and mental health. We do this so we can challenge the ideas of what society tells us we're supposed to be and do as mothers and as women. My hope is that when we, as mothers, begin to heal and be true to ourselves, we can begin thriving instead of just surviving. Hello and welcome back to Mom's New Identity. I'm your host, amber, ivana, and if you're new here, I want to say welcome On this podcast. We really just are redefining what it means to be a mom by having honest, vulnerable conversations and really just challenging the expectations that have been placed on us and redefining our identities on our own terms. Hence the name Mom's New Identity.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is really going to be focused on what's going on right now in the media. If you're listening to this as soon as it's being released, you'll probably have an idea of what I'm going to be talking about here. But before we kind of jump into that I want to say that this is actually going to be my last recorded episode for the year. I will likely post one more episode that was or I should say repost an old YouTube video, just kind of like I did a few episodes ago. I'll likely be reposting that just once more in November and then I'm going to take some time off for the rest of the year really just to enjoy the holidays with my family. I deserve a break. I'm just pressing pause until January. I will be back in January, hopefully, with a plan to start publishing weekly episodes. I would love to be able to do that for you all, but, as you know, my capacity is limited, being a mom with two small kids. So really there's a lot of reasons for this. I'm trying to avoid burnout. Sometimes I feel like I'm just trying to play catch up with the podcast. There's a lot I cannot stress this enough Like it's so worth it to start a podcast.
Speaker 1:If you have something that you're very passionate about and like you want to get that message out, you're going to find a way. Where there's a will, there's a way. But I will say that it comes with a lot of work and it can be very mentally and sometimes even emotionally draining, like just the other day. I was like I don't know if I can do this anymore, I don't know why. But then I literally had a conversation with like one of my best friends and she was. We were just talking about like motherhood stuff and she is not a mother at the current moment, but her and I have been friends since college and you know she's an amazing aunt and she tries to be involved in her niece and nephew's life as much as she can. But we were just kind of having a conversation about motherhood and you know, her own relationship with her mother and healing and all of that. And it just kind of brought me back to why I'm doing this. So, yeah, that's, I'm not going anywhere, let's just put it that way, but it's definitely challenging. And so, that said, I want to take a minute to pat myself on the back because I just achieved 500 downloads overall. Okay, that's amongst the episodes that I've done, so that's not like per episode. Okay, that's a huge accomplishment. I'm not there yet, but overall I've received at least 500 downloads, which more or less means that my episodes in conjunction maybe between I think it's 13 or 14 episodes that I've posted in total have been listened to 500 times. All I know is that people are listening, so I'm just gonna keep going, but anyways, I want to be able to continue to show it for you all, because I have had a few people say you know how my episodes have impacted them and I want to continue to be able to do that.
Speaker 1:So I will be stepping away from recording new episodes for the rest of the year. However, I will be on social media. I still will be active on Instagram. I'm thinking of maybe every Saturday, doing like lives on TikTok. Only because my community is a little bit bigger on TikTok. I don't have as many followers on Instagram, but maybe, maybe I'll do Instagram too. Who knows, oh, we'll see. But every Saturday I like to do what's called Self Care Saturday, where I, you know, maybe do a mask or you know something like that. But I also don't necessarily want to be on social media. So maybe not, I don't know, I don't know yet.
Speaker 1:I do want to find a way to get us together as a community, those of you that listen regularly, be it virtually or gosh.
Speaker 1:But if you're local, that'd be. If you're Vegas, that'd be even better. If you would like to, maybe if you would like me to start a Facebook group, that I feel like that's in the easiest way, the most affordable way for all of us to connect. If you would like me to do that, send me an email. Down in the description in the show notes. You'll see my email address momsnewidentityadd you, mailcom. Or send me Instagram DM and let me know hey, I want to be an additive Facebook group. I might even do a Google Sheets request or a poll or something like that and put it link it in the description or in the show notes so you all can let me know, hey, I want you to start a Facebook group so that I know to do that, because I really feel like I would like to get to know you all, and I'm sure you all would like to get to know me too, if you'd like to listen to my show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that, I think, really just kind of covers the up and coming stuff really. Or you know the recap, if you will. If you didn't get a chance to listen to my last episode, it was really long and maybe a little bit long winded, so I'm really sorry about that, but I still am. I created a spreadsheet basically to give you all the tools to really try and manage and balance your household. I'm highly considering doing that in the form of just a one-on-one to really kind of coach either individual moms or even couples through that. That'd probably be something for next year, not anytime soon, but I will still be releasing that or, I guess, sending those out as requested. So that's linked in the show notes as well. Now to kind of, I guess, shift the mood, if you will, from a little more lighthearted to not so lighthearted.
Speaker 1:Right now in the Middle East there is an ongoing war and honestly I wouldn't even call it that at this point, because that would imply that both sides of the parties or the countries involved in the war have an equal advantage, and that is not the case, although that is not what's being portrayed in mainstream media, unfortunately, if you're not familiar, right now Israel and they have declared a Tomas, but really Gaza or Gaza, I believe, is that is how you pronounce it Gaza in Palestine and that's in the Middle East. I apologize, I don't know, like the exact geography off the top of my head, so I'd have to pull up a map to be able to tell you all exactly where that is. But essentially there's a very long history and many people were not aware of this. I myself was not aware of this until this happened, until I started researching and looking into this more and understanding this stuff. Is that the people of? I want to say is it Palestine? Palestine? I've heard it pronounced both ways, so my apologies if I'm saying it wrong. I'm doing my best.
Speaker 1:So in Palestine, they have been living in, I want to say it's apartheid. Basically, it's a form of segregation, and I mean think Jim Crow kind of times, and this was as a result of something called Zionism, or Zionists, if you will, and there's a really long history, and so I don't necessarily want to be the one to explain that, because I don't want to get it wrong, and there's a lot of other creators out there that have explained this in a very accurate and easy to understand way, and so I will be tagging some of those accounts where I've seen really useful videos that are kind of explaining this in very simple language. But, to put it plainly, you can see there's, there's many videos on there that are showing the occupation of Israel and you know the state of Israel in Palestine or Palestine I'm going to go with Palestine right now. Again, my apologies if I'm mispronouncing it wrong or if I'm mispronouncing it and really what's happening there is ethnic cleansing and, to put it plainly, genocide is occurring as of the, as of the last few days, when Israel decided that they were going to bomb a hospital, and again, this is like stuff that I'm learning from various sources that it's not, that's not how you do war. At this point, it's not considered an act of war. It's a war crime to bomb a hospital and kill innocent civilians. And, granted, there was an attack from Hamas on Israel okay, and innocent lives were lost as well. That doesn't negate the fact that the people of Gaza Palestinians have been severely oppressed for many, many years and that bombing was an attempt to fight the power, fight for their freedom, and obviously it was not well received and they retaliated.
Speaker 1:And forgive me because I don't want to get too long winded into explaining the technicalities of it all, but sorry, I'm trying to make sure that, like, I don't leave out pertinent information and sometimes, when I communicate certain things, especially as I'm like, have recently learned these things, I don't want to get it wrong, okay. So my encouragement to you is that, immediately following this episode, you go and you search the information about the history of Gaza, what Zionism is. I would encourage you to do this. One thing that you can do is search the hashtag free Palestine on tiktok. If you're not on tiktok, get on tiktok.
Speaker 1:The reason I say this is because the thing about tiktok it is unfiltered, it is raw, it is direct from the source media and it is a huge contributor to Americans waking up to the reality of the fact that our country does not give a shit about us. Like, let's just put it that way, the United States has a lot of growing to do, let's just put it that way. It's been a very useful tool in connecting people across oceans, you know, across varying nations, to understand and hear their stories and the realities of their, their life. And so, getting back to kind of what I was saying here, is that there's a lot of information out there and tiktok is a great resource because you're getting it straight from the horse's mouth. Essentially, and the hard thing about journalism and media is that it's it's very censored. It is and I think we saw that in light of the 2016 election that we were hearing completely different narratives on different channels depending on the political affiliations of that network. So the point that I guess if I can kind of go back to what the point I'm trying to make here is that there's a lot more to the story than what you're being told on the news, and it is crucial that in this time, especially given the fact that genocide is being committed, entire bloodlines of families children, parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc. Are being eradicated because they're being bombed regularly and it is an unfair fight.
Speaker 1:There was a lady on TikTok who explained to her son, who was confused about you know who's the bad guy, and all of this and everything. She gave the perfect analogy and she said she used her son as examples. One is smaller, one is older, and she was explaining this to older kid. She said, okay, what if you went in your brother's room and you know, you went into play in his room and you said, okay, this is my room now, this is not your room anymore. You can only have that little small space over there. And you know he might not fight back. You might be like, okay, that's fine, no big deal, like he's not really causing any trouble. But then you say, okay, well, all the toys in here are now mine and you can only play with whatever toys that you want to play with or that I let you play with you, but you have to stay in your spot and you can only play with the toys. When I say that you're allowed to play with your toys, okay, and, mind you, this is the example that she's giving us, her and I will I will tag this creator. I promise I will tag this creator, because I need to give credit where credit is due.
Speaker 1:But anyways, she tells her younger son or she, sorry, she's talking to her oldest son. She says okay, so what if this happens for a long, long time? And eventually your little brother, he gets tired of it because he wants his room back. He, that was his room in the first place. He wants to play with his toys. But then he decides to fight you and say no, you know what I'm tired of this. Get out of my room. And he like punches you, would it hurt? And he says well, yeah, I mean maybe a little bit. But she says but obviously he's smaller than you, he's younger than you. Would it hurt that bad? Which, probably not.
Speaker 1:And imagine, she says to him then her oldest son, she says now imagine, after he hits you, you hit him back, but you hit him harder and you keep hitting him and he's smaller than you. Would that be a fair fight? And he said no, of course not. And he's like, she's like that's what's happening. And he was just like oh man, that's really bad. So why? I don't understand. Like, why are? Why is the US saying that they're the bad guys? Then, and she explains to him.
Speaker 1:She gives him another analogy, says okay, well, imagine that during this time, that you hold his room hostage, if you will, and take over his room and force him to only be in one spot of his room and only play with certain toys. Imagine you decide to invite your friends and your other siblings into the room and say, hey, you guys can share this room too and you can play with his toys, and he can do absolutely nothing about it. And when you try to fight back, what do you think your, your friends and your other siblings are going to do? When he says, I want my toys back, I'm going to say, well, your brother is letting me play with the toys. They're not going to help you fight him because they're benefiting Right, his siblings, if you will. In this, in this scenario, the friends or whatever that are occupying the younger brother's room are benefiting from the older brother taking over the room because the older brother's letting them play with the toys and the younger brother has no say in it. And that's how the US is involved. It's not in their best, the US government is not in their best interest financially to send aid relief to Palestinians and it's easy to play it off as them being terrorists when they're just fighting for freedom. So I hope that that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Again, I will tag accounts and creators specifically on TikTok that have explained this, and there are some creators out there on Instagram Unfortunately, very few and we're going to talk about this right now. I don't see as many creators talking about this issue or really speaking on this. If anything, it's on the flip side. You know they're. I stand with Israel. I stand with Israel. Many celebrities are coming out and saying that they're supporting Israel and all this stuff, and they're just kind of echoing the same sentiments as other celebrities. Right, like, oh, the celebrity shared this, so I'm going to share it too. Or their team is doing that, if they have a social media marketing team and they don't necessarily understand what's happening.
Speaker 1:So TikTok is a great source to research this more, and I mean you certainly can research it if you so choose, like you know, different major media outlets. But again, the problem is that it's censored if it doesn't fit a certain narrative, because there's there's money involved, there's corporations involved, there's corporations that own these networks, that have a vested financial interest in business relationships with the Israeli government, so they cannot say certain things, whereas TikTok, because it's a free platform and that people can voice their concerns, their opinions, et cetera, and not have to worry about affecting their shareholders and their partners. You're going to hear the truth, okay. So I hope that radicalized you a little bit. No, I'm just kidding, I'm not. I'm not trying to radicalize anybody. I just hope that it really made you question all of this, okay, or not question all of this, but really seek to understand what's actually happening, instead of just believing the stories that are being pushed out by the media.
Speaker 1:Now, why is this relative? How does this? I know you're probably thinking this like how does any of this relate to this motherhood and healing and all of this stuff? Great question, hey friend, are you enjoying the episodes so far? I sure hope so. If you're a fan of Mom's Toy Identity podcast, I just want to remind you to take a moment to follow the show, drop a rating or a review and, last but certainly not least, be sure to share this episode, or just the show itself, with friends, family or anybody else you know that might benefit from the show, both in person or on social media. If you're watching this on YouTube, just be sure to like this video and hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to click that bell so you can be notified whenever a new episode is released. Please know that your continued support is what will help this podcast grow and reach more people who need to hear the messages that we share on here. Thanks again, and let's get back to the episode.
Speaker 1:If you didn't already know, I talk about these issues here and there on this podcast in other episodes, because one of the biggest reasons why is that when you go on a healing journey and you start to wake up to the realities of the pain and suffering that you have experienced yourself, that others may be in your life, your close loved ones have experienced, you will eventually start to recognize the collective suffering of the human race. And when that happens, you can choose to push it back down, act like it didn't happen. But I can tell you right now it's very hard not to. It's very hard. Once you open Pandora's box. There's no going back. There's no going back to numbing that and dissociating and being indifferent to these issues. You can't. You can try, but once that part of you wakes up and acknowledges those things, you're going to feel the need to act. And the thing is because this is something.
Speaker 1:Healing is something that I talk about on this podcast. I can't speak about the individual journey of healing without acknowledging how that then plays out into the world, into the world that we see around us. A really great book to read that could kind of help you understand this concept, if you will, is the Four Agreements, and something that he says is that we in this world, we are living in our own hell, because the world we live in is a manifestation of our inner world. And what is the inner world of many people? It's pain, it's suffering.
Speaker 1:You think about some of the most awful totalitarian governments and dictators and people like that. I don't want to say world leaders, because to me a leader is somebody who does good Figures, political figures Hitler, trump, stalin, all of those people when they've done a deep dive into their childhood, into the life experience that they've had oftentimes it was out of a very painful one and when you experience such pain in childhood, eventually your mind, your body, your spirit, it shuts off, it learns to push those emotions down and people learn to or I shouldn't say they learn to but they no longer know what it is like to feel empathy. They quite literally disconnect from themselves. And if they don't ever address it, if they don't ever address the pain and the shame and the unworthiness it gets projected into the world. They feel this need.
Speaker 1:Individuals who have not healed, who have not dealt with the pain and suffering that they've experienced in their life, or even acknowledged it, really will look out into the world and say, well, if I had to suffer, so to you. Or they'll say things like well, I didn't have it that bad, I got through it, so so can you. They project that onto the world around them and thus you see wars happen, you see things like colonization happen, you see things like slavery happen, and then that cycle of pain and trauma continues and it passes down from generation to generation until one generation says I am done shoving down this pain, I'm done ignoring it, I'm done acting like everything's okay when it's not, and then projecting that onto my loved ones, my spouse, my children.
Speaker 1:This is why this matters? Because so long as we can ignore the suffering and the pain and the oppression of people in this world, the world is never going to change. And yes, it starts with us, it does. But once you have become aware enough of your own pain, your own suffering, the next step then is to acknowledge the pain and suffering of the people in the world and not turn a blind eye to it. We may have a peaceful inner world and we may be able to shut out so much of the noise and the pain and all of this to an extent. But you know what? That you know what happens. You isolate yourself, and that's not good for your spirit either. We're meant to connect, we're meant to live in community, yet so many of us live in fear. So many of us live in fear of what could happen to our children, what could happen to our loved ones. There's a very cliche I don't want to say it's cliche, but it's a common saying that all it takes for evil to spread in this world is for enough good people to do nothing. And as much as I want to be empathetic to those of you who are easily triggered by things like that, or a highly sensitive person. Guess what? I'm a highly sensitive person and when I see stuff on social media about this, the pain and suffering of people, it makes me cry, it makes me upset. But you know what? That's a good thing? That is an absolutely good thing. It doesn't make me weak. That is my strength, and if that is you, that is a strength. That means that you are still holding on to your humanity and that, right there, that's what we need more of in this world. So I am urging you to not ignore these, ignore what's going on. Take action, call up your representatives.
Speaker 1:There's a really great video that this girl literally explained Essentially. She gave very, very great steps for us to actually put forth some sort of plan, a like a tangible plan to disempower the people who are funding this war, who are enabling this country, this, this, this government, this military, to commit genocide on innocent lives. 50% of the Palestinian population is children, children. Children are waking up to their homes being bombed. I don't know how else I can like make you care, you have to care, we have to care, or things are never going to change. They're never going to change.
Speaker 1:It's so easy to just say turn off your phone, protect your mental health. Take a break from social media. It's so easy to do that, but those people in Gaza and Palestine, they can't do that. They quite literally have no food, they have no water, they have no power. They have no way to tell the world what is happening to them. We have to be their voice. We have to, and especially especially if you're someone with some semblance of privilege or power or Influence. I don't have that big of a platform. I don't. My hope, though, is that what platform I do have Will impact enough people to say something to someone else and help these innocent people who have been stripped of their power.
Speaker 1:I'm not really sure, at this point, what else I can say. I feel like I've made this message very, very clear and Um, as much as I don't necessarily want to just end and this episode on a note like this, I think that needs to be the center of this conversation on this episode. Don't turn it off, don't ignore it, and I'll be honest. At first I was like, oh, I need to, I need to do this, I need to take a break from this. It's, it's too much. But what about them? Like looking at my phone and scrolling while I'm in the comfort of my safe, warm home, with food in my house, or my children are safe. It's too much to look at my screen. It's too much, but it's not too much for them, right, what they're going through.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think that I kind of made my point, or at least I can only hope that I have made my point, but, as I mentioned earlier, I May have one more episode. That's a repost of YouTube video that will be up and then, following that, there will be no more episodes for the year and in the meantime, I will still be posting on social media clips from previous episodes and Just trying to post on there and my stories as much as I can. And if you would like to See about starting a Facebook group, I will either have like a Google forum or a a just a some some sort of link or request in the show notes where you can say, hey, I want to be added to the Facebook group, or I want to be part of the Facebook group, or you know Just something along those lines. Okay, that's the. That's the first thing. I will be reaching out to various people to See about potential guests, if you know of any Creators or people that you feel like you would want to hear from on this podcast. I would send them my way. If you have a really powerful story of healing and such to share, I Would love to hear from you. I think that about covers it.
Speaker 1:I hope you all have a Happy, peaceful rest of the year. I may I may, not gonna promise but I may release just a bonus episode sometime during the holidays, just as some sort of encouragement that's related to the holiday season. Until then, you can find me, like I said, on Instagram, tick tock, possibly here and there, but I just I really hope that this episode the stirred something in you and Made you want to take action, because we have to make this world better for our kids. We do, and if you're listening, you're more than likely a mother. There's like a 90% chance that you're a mom. You want this world to be a better place for your kids. You don't want to have to live in fear of what could happen to your kids. But first it starts with us and healing. But then to take it a step further means to Acknowledge the pain and the suffering and the atrocities and not turn blind eye to it, not just turn off your phone. I will miss you all.
Speaker 1:I do enjoy, believe it or not, this a recording aspect. This is like my favorite part of the whole process. But the setup, the Editing, the posting, they keep you up, social media as a lot, okay, and your girl is tired, not to mention. I Really have just like neglected my physical health for quite a while now and I am, like I said, I'm so proud of myself. I reached 500 downloads and I did this all. Okay, while and during two moves, I moved twice in this one year. Okay, twice, that's not normal. Okay, since I started this podcast, I moved twice. I was my son already born? Was I pregnant? I honestly can't remember. I think my son was at least a year old when. I started this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, he was already born. Sorry y'all, mom brain, no, adhd, I don't know. Yeah, so I Was stay-at-home mom taking care of two kids under three. During this time, I have literally paid and done everything out of my own pocket, with less than a hundred dollars a month, to fund this podcast. I'm fucking proud of myself, y'all. Okay, so I'm just going to give myself this little bit of like, congratulations, like I'm a bad bitch, because this, this is, this is, this was hard and I'm not done yet. I'm just getting started, but I'm doing the damn thing. Okay. So I want to say thank you for all this hard work. What's it? You know the whole the Snoop Dogg speech he's like. First of all, I want to say thank you to myself, thank you to myself, for doing all this hard work, work, all that. I don't know, I don't know, like that.
Speaker 1:Goes but you know, you know, you know the speech, you know. Okay, I think it's about time to end this episode. So au voie, is that how you say goodbye in French? I don't know, I don't even know French. Until next time you will hear from me again. Well, you'll get one more episode, maybe another little bonus episode, before then into the year, but I look forward to Getting back into the swing of things come January and I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your year. Love you, let's keep going, let's keep healing Until next time. Mom's new identity podcast is produced and edited by your host, amber Ivana. Intro music, mother a creator is Written and performed by Heidi Rojas of Heidi Rojas music I.
